In this troubled and uncertain world the violence of criminals and terrorists is escalating and ending in bloodshed, and this violence is increasingly answered with repressive measures from police and military forces. In both camps, most of them are men. Similarly, male language is used in order to introduce the path of non-violence, love, and peace, what is called « brotherhood,» as if only brothers had the capacity to love.
Thus, the essential point is missed: genuine and true love is feminine, the only love willing to endure all sacrifices. This is the case with the love of a sister (why speak of « brotherhood » and not of « sisterhood?»), with the love of the woman who shares your life, and even more so with the love of a mother. This is also true of men’s love, however ‘manly,’ when they embrace their feminine sides and understand that happiness is not found in what they can take from others, but in what they can give.
Mothers, in particular, find true happiness in giving life and bringing happiness to their children. More than anyone else, they think of the development and well-being of future generations; they understand, before anyone else, when and why their children slip away and stop pursuing a worthy goal. If we listened to mothers, sisters, and women in love, if we provided them with the means to act, the world would be radically different, infinitely more pacific than it is today.
This, of course, is nothing new. In history, it is often women who prevented men from committing acts of madness. And stories almost identical to that of Lysistrata, as told by Aristophanes, can be found in countless civilizations and mythologies: the sex-strike solution as a means of forcing men to negotiate peace. Mothers may also demand of their children that they stop fighting. But they cannot do it alone and keep their children out of trouble if men abandon them.
If we listened to women, and especially mothers, the consequences would be immediately very positive. First, the respect for women would increase, and a host of violence against them would cease. Then we would hear what they cry out, but to no avail: children with no families and without an education are easy prey for cults and gangs of all kinds. In substance and in the current climate, particularly in France, this means listening to women of all backgrounds experience, empowering them to talk to young people and men, and following the advice below, given by women to policy makers:
1. Being concerned about children as early as kindergarten in order to prevent the « word gap » — a vocabulary discrepancy.
2. Supervising young teenagers, especially those who grew up without their fathers, to make sure they attend classes and benefit from the same counseling and guidance given to other teens. There the lives of today’s young people unfold, there a drift towards the worst case scenario could be triggered.
3. Helping women talk to young adults, as mothers, companions or sisters, to detect an eventual drift.
4. Providing working tools for associations in charge of guidance and counseling.
That is quite a contrast to the pathetic debate on repressive arsenal: focusing solely on this answer, is like attempting to empty an overflowing bathtub, with taps wide open, using a teaspoon. It is urgent to get out of the repressive escalation and give mothers massive resources for effective community action. Otherwise, we shall be threatened not simply by some isolated terrorists but entire generations of lost children. Children are a treasure : let us avoid a waste of lives and invest in them.
j@attali.com